Adoption triad and loss

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Adoption triad and loss

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Well some people haven't heard this term, but there's something called the adoption triad. And that refers to the three main 'players' in an adoption. So you have the adoptee, you've got the adoptive parent, and you've got the birth parents. And historically the birth parents are the most invisible in the triad. Nowadays, what we're talking about is the adoption constellation because there are really so many more players. There's extended family and it's a more fluid and more kind of friendly term. We have to understand that everybody comes to the adoption experience by and large having suffered some loss. Yes, there's a very small percentage of adoptive parents for whom it is their first choice. But that's a small percentage. So that's a very potent opportunity for creating healthy attachment and for creating intimacy in a family, is to understand we've all lost. We've all had pains on our way to being altogether. And it's a very fruitful way to begin.

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Marcy Axness, PhD

Childhood Development Specialist

Marcy Axness, PhD, is an early development specialist, popular international speaker, and author of Parenting for Peace: Raising the Next Generation of Peacemakers. She is a top blogger at Mothering.com and a member of their expert panel. Featured in several documentary films as an expert in adoption, prenatal development and Waldorf education, Dr. Axness has a private practice coaching parents-in-progress. She considers as one of her most important credentials that she raised two peacemakers to share with the world -- Ian and Eve, both in their 20s. 

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