Accusing an Ex of sexual abuse with your children

Laura Wasser, Family Law Attorney, shares advice for parents on what to do if one partner is accusing the other of sexual abuse of their children and the steps to take
Divorce And Children | Accusing An Ex Of Sexual Abuse With Your Kids
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Accusing an Ex of sexual abuse with your children

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I have had a few custody cases where one parent is accusing the other of sexual abuse. They are the most heinous of cases. It is a violation beyond any other that what a parent could do, I believe, and on both sides. If it's actually happening, terrible. You would have to call the Department of Children Family Services, get them involved immediately. Your entire family's life will change. By the same token, if you somehow feel that this is happening, check yourself. Make sure whatever allegations you're going to make are well-founded. Because although parents really want to protect their children more than anything else in the world, what you are about to embark upon is going to change your entire family unit and your child's life. To make an accusation like this without really being sure is going to probably make it impossible for you to ever have an effective co-parenting relationship with your ex. And it's also gonna change the way your child looks at him or herself sexually in terms of victimization and self-esteem and everything else, whether it's true or not. So if you're trying to get a leg up in custody, if you're being overly sensitive, if there are things that are happening that you feel are inappropriate, sleeping in the same bed, being naked in front of the kids, showering in front of the kids at a certain age, these are all valid concerns. It doesn't jump to the level of sexual abuse. Talk to your co-parent, talk to somebody else that can get involved in the mix and get on the same page; this is no longer appropriate when our 10-year old daughter is around. Don't make accusations unless you're very, very certain.
ALL PARENTS, Divorce, Co-Parenting

Laura Wasser, Family Law Attorney, shares advice for parents on what to do if one partner is accusing the other of sexual abuse of their children and the steps to take

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Laura Wasser

Family Law Attorney

Laura has been a family law practitioner for nearly 20 years. Her practice focuses on the separation and reconfiguration of families. Being a child of divorce, and having personal and professional experience in this field, she believes that she can do better for the children of today and help with an oxymoron: a “good divorce”. Laura is the author of It Doesn't Have to be That Way: How to Divorce Without Destroying Your Family or Bankrupting Yourself.

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