Birthdays and special events in divorced families

Alan Yellin, PhD Psychologist & Marriage and Family Therapist, shares advice for divorced parents on the best ways to take part their children's birthdays and special events
Co-Parenting Tips | Birthdays And Special Events In Divorced Families
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Birthdays and special events in divorced families

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Special events can often be a challenge for parents. One of the things that I constantly tell parents is, "Your children didn't ask you to get divorced. You got divorced. As a result of that, you need to be the ones to make the accommodations for the child." So if it's a special event like a bar mitzvah or a wedding and you can both attend, that's fine, but you want to attend with the attitude that you're never going to display any anger towards the other parent, you're going to be fine if the child goes up to the other parent with a hug or a kiss, you want to encourage a cooperative and forgiving atmosphere. And that would be one way to do that. However, for instances where parents are at high conflict and they can't be in a room together, it's often times better that the parents attend that event separately. So that perhaps dad goes to the first part of the event and mom goes to the second part of that event. Having parents there together and arguing is the worst thing for a child.
ALL PARENTS, Divorce, Co-Parenting

Alan Yellin, PhD Psychologist & Marriage and Family Therapist, shares advice for divorced parents on the best ways to take part their children's birthdays and special events

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Alan Yellin, PhD

Psychologist

Dr. Alan Yellin is a licensed psychologist as well as licensed marriage and family therapist.  He has been in practice for over 30 years working with children, adolescents and adults. Dr. Yellin did his post-doctoral fellowship at Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles. In his practice, he sees children with learning problems, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, fears and social skills issues. Additionally, he has a sub-specialty in working with children from divorced families as well as helping parents deal more effectively with their divorce. Dr. Yellin’s practice also includes working with adolescents and adults with depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive issues as well as issues around life passages. Dr. Yellin believes that therapy works best when the client and therapist have a collaborative relationship as they explore thoughts and feelings and work towards solutions, and uses a combination of scientific data along with humor to help people achieve change. He is in a long-term happy marriage and has two grown children.

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