Parenting together after divorce

Janis Keyser, MA Childhood Education Specialist, shares advice for divorced parents on how to make your children a priority and effectively co-parent together after a divorce
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Parenting together after divorce

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It's so admirable when parents who get divorced still make children a priority, and say, "We can't live together anymore, but we can still be good parents together." There is many things that parents can do to continue to be good parents together. One of the things they can do is have a regular time that they talk. Maybe that's a time that is with a counselor or therapist at first, because it's hard to talk to each other. One of the things that each of those parents need to really focus on is, what is it about that person that I admire? How can I hold that person up for my children? Your feelings about the person go in one channel and your communication you want to give that person to your child, is in another channel. You try to separate those channels, so that you aren't talking negatively about that other parent; which makes the child feel like you are talking negatively about them. Another technique for parents who are partnering after divorce is that they can develop a journal. So when the child is with one parent, they can make some notes about what they did. The child can carry that journal over to the other parents. They can review the notes and then make notes about what they did together. This allows the child to have an integrated experience. One of the things that happens to a child in divorce is that they become a keeper of their history. I have this history over here, and this history over here. The more they have permission to talk with mom about what happened at dad's house, the more they feel like they have the experience of an integrated life together.
ALL PARENTS, Divorce, Co-Parenting

Janis Keyser, MA Childhood Education Specialist, shares advice for divorced parents on how to make your children a priority and effectively co-parent together after a divorce

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Janis Keyser, MA

Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author

Janis Keyser currently works as a site director for a child development program in Mountain View, California. She was a full-time faculty member in the Early Childhood Education Department at Cabrillo College in Aptos, California for 30 years, teaching children, teachers and parents and coordinating a state demonstration infant toddler program. She has written a resource book for parents and one for teachers; and is a nationally recognized speaker at parenting, family and child development conferences, and has conducted workshops nationally and internationally for parents and teachers for over 35 years. She enjoys swimming, kayaking, photography, family games and cooking with friends of all ages.

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