Introducing new relationships to your kids

Watch Video: Introducing new relationships to your kids by Armin Brott, ...
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Introducing new relationships to your kids

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One of the most common I get from divorced dads, from single dads is when can I start introducing the women in my life to my kids. And my standard answer is generally wait a long, long time. Much longer than you think. And the reason for that is that kids are going to be forming relationships with the person that you are forming relationships with. They are going to want to love the person that you love. And they are not going to know that you may not love her quite yet. So if you have got a revolving door and people are coming in and out of their lives all the time, it is going to be very, very confusing that they are going to form relationships, she is going to be gone. And they are not going to know what happened. I had this kind of situation in my own life when I was a single dad and I went out with a woman for a couple of years. It was already a serious relationship, and then we ended it. And my kids a few years after that told me how angry they were with me for not having consulted them. Of course, you don´t have to consult your kids and have them have a vote on whether you extend or don´t extend a relationship. But the point of the whole thing is that they need to know what is going on. And if you do end a relationship after they have met somebody and have formed a relationship with her, it is like a divorce. They need to sit down perhaps with both of you if that is possible and explain what is going on and explain this idea that it is not their fault, that it is the grown up are having difficult dealing with each other. So the bottom line of it is wait as long as you possibly can until you realize that it is truly a serious relationship and if you do have to end the relationship, do let the kids know what is going on.

Watch Video: Introducing new relationships to your kids by Armin Brott, ...

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Armin Brott

Dad, Author & Radio Host

A former Marine, Armin Brott has devoted the last 15 years to providing men with the tools, support, and knowledge to help them become the fathers they want to be—and their families need them to be. His seven critically acclaimed books for fathers have sold well over a million copies. Titles include The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year. He has written on fatherhood for hundreds of newspapers and magazines and is a frequent guest on such television programs as the Today Show. He also writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column (Ask Mr. Dad), and hosts a syndicated radio show (Positive Parenting). He lives with his family in Oakland, California.

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