Divorcing your spouse because of an affair

Tammy Nelson, PhD offers advice to parents about talking to their kids about divorce when the split is caused by an affair
Parenting and Family Advice | Talking to children about your divorce when the split is caused by an affair
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Divorcing your spouse because of an affair

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So if you get divorced because of an affair, and you're still really hurt and angry, what do you tell the kids? First of all, divorce is a grown up issue, even though it drastically affects your kids. And the one thing your kids really want to know is that you can never divorce them. So as your parent, I'm never going to be able to divorce you. I'm always going to be your mom, and this is always going to be your dad. And they don't want to know who's been sleeping with who. That's not their business, and that's not what they want to worry about. They want to know what's going to change for them. And if you're using your partner's affair as revenge for hurt in your own marriage, then you're only hurting your child. You're not even necessarily hurting your partner. So don't use your partner's affair as a way to punish your child when you're really trying to punish your partner. Reassure your child that even if you get divorced, you're never going to divorce them. You're always going to be their parent. And let them know what's going to change for them and what isn't. What's going to stay consistent. And what might change on a daily basis. And leave the affair out of your child's life.

Tammy Nelson, PhD offers advice to parents about talking to their kids about divorce when the split is caused by an affair

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Tammy Nelson, PhD

Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert

Tammy Nelson PhD is the author of several books including, “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together”  (2008) and  “What’s Eating You? A Workbook for Anorexia and Bulimia (2004)” and her latest  book “The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity” (January 2013) is receiving critical acclaim.  She has been a featured expert in New York Times, Washington Post, Self,  Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, MSNBC,  Shape, Men’s Health, Women’s Health Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, and a source in Time Magazine. She writes for the Huffington Post, YourTango and can be followed on her blog www.drtammynelson.com/blog/.

Tammy Nelson is a Board Certified Sexologist, a Certified Sex Therapist and an Imago Relationship Therapist.  She is an international speaker and a licensed psychotherapist in private practice with over 25 years of experience working with individuals and couples.  She travels and lectures internationally on her quest for global relational change.

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