Advice on the effects of divorce and the explosive child

Learn about: Advice on the effects of divorce and the explosive child from Ross W. Greene, PhD,...
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Advice on the effects of divorce and the explosive child

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You know anything that could make it hard for co-parents to collaborate for each other has the potential to make it harder for the co-parents to collaborate with the child. And I'm thinking especially here, but not exclusively, about parents going through a divorce. It can get ugly. And in some instances, not all, parents who are going through a nasty or difficult divorce don't have very good feelings about each other. And of course, this is to be avoided at all costs, are putting the kid in the middle. And that's going to make it extremely difficult for us to collaborate with the child. Here's the amazing thing. I often find that even if parents are having difficultly collaborating with each other on almost everything related to their lives together, I am often able to help them separate all of those things from the things that are related to the well-being of their child. I have helped people collaborate with each other when they couldn't stand each other when it came to coming together on what's going to be in the best interests of their child. And here are the simple things that I want them to be able to come to an agreement on. What are our unsolved problems? What unsolved problems are our high priorities, and which ones are we setting aside for now? Who's going to solve that problem collaboratively with our child? and so you see, I've basically pushed aside for now all of the things that these people were disagreeing about and tried to help them focus almost exclusively on the fundamental aspects of solving problems with their child. And I am frequently amazed at how many co-parents who cannot stand each other are able to do just that.

Learn about: Advice on the effects of divorce and the explosive child from Ross W. Greene, PhD,...

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Ross W. Greene, PhD

Psychologist, Author & Researcher

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the author of the well-known books The Explosive Child and Lost at School, and the originator of a model of care (now known as Collaborative & Proactive Solutions) emphasizing collaboration between kids and adults in resolving the problems contributing to children’s behavioral challenges.  He is also associate clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, on the professional staff at the Cambridge Hospital, adjunct associate professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech, and senior lecturer in the graduate program in school psychology in the Department of Education at Tufts University.  Dr. Greene founded the non-profit Lives in the Balance to provide free, web-based resources on his model and to advocate on behalf of behaviorally challenging kids and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers.  He lectures widely throughout the world and lives in Portland, Maine, with his wife and two kids.

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