I was someone who was really devoted to co-parenting with my husband. I didn't want to have to make a spreadsheet. I didn't want to have make a checklist. I didn't want to have to fight about it. I just wanted it to happen naturally. And I'm really lucky that I had a kid with a partner who is just right there for all the domestic responsibility and all the fun of parenting.
But one thing that I learned early on is that so many of us just have to let go of the particulars. So if I had bought my daughter just the cutest little outfit, and he ended up putting her in something that was not the cutest little outfit, I was going to have to keep my mouth shut about that. Or if thank you notes weren't written. All these different ways that I think women especially try to curate and perfect our own domestic world.
I mean, honestly, a lot of people who we're co-parenting with have different visions of those things and want us to let go of a lot of those things. So for me, it's been an exercise in letting go. My daughter's wardrobe is nothing like I envisioned it when she was a baby. So many things that we do in our lives are not exactly how I would have tailor-made them.
But that I think is one of the great lessons of parenting, not just letting go with our children, but also letting go with our partners.