Losing a child obviously is going to have a huge impact on your marriage. It’s a difficult thing, because even though you’re both suffering from the same loss, you’re each going to react differently, because everyone grieves in different ways.
So you have to allow yourself to grieve and not get angry that your spouse doesn’t grieve the same way, or even at the same time. You’re going to… some days are going to be harder for me, and other days are going to be harder for my husband and we have to allow that. And sometimes, it’s easy to get upset that something triggers an unhappy emotion in me and it’s not going to do the same for him. So it’s really an exercise in being forgiving to each other and being understanding and knowing that even if something makes me sad and it doesn’t make him sad, that’s okay.
So there’s that and then also understanding that everyone has a different outlet. For me, I found somebody outside of my family to talk to. I talk to a therapist. For my husband, it was writing. Everyone has their different ways of coping and their different ways of getting out what they need out. And it’s all about being understanding of that. So you really have to work on understanding – not only each other, but also yourselves and what you need and not being afraid to say, “I need this right now. Or you need this right now.” And then letting each other have it.