Avoiding mistakes your own father made

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Avoiding mistakes your own father made

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The way to avoid repeating mistakes of the past, of stopping intergenerational cycles, is to take some time to think about the legacy that you carry from your parents. Specifically for dads, it's really important to take some time to look at your relationship with your own father, or your lack of relationship. And they way I ask dads to think about this is list out three gifts you got from your dad, whether he was there or not there, whatever kind of relationship you had. Can you find three gifts that he gave you? He was present, he was a hard worker, he was humorous. Then think about how are you going to pass those gifts onto your child. And then think about three liabilities or mistakes that you want to protect your kids from, three things you want to do differently. So that might be anger, alcoholism, he was distant, he wasn't present; just three, think about three. And then for each one, and I think it's best to write this out, think about how you're going to do differently. How are you going to protect your kids from a legacy of alcoholism? What are you going to proactively do about that? Because if we're not aware of our legacy, the legacy that we carry, then we stand a much better chance of passing on those mistakes to your children. And so that's why it's really important for dads to think about their legacy.
ALL PARENTS, Parenting

View John Badalament, EdM's video on Avoiding mistakes your own father made...

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John Badalament, EdM

Author & Educator

John Badalament, EdM, is the author of the acclaimed Modern Dad’s Dilemma: How To Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World and Director of the PBS documentary All Men Are Sons: Exploring The Legacy of Fatherhood. His work has been featured on ABC NewsNPR, in Men’s HealthPregnancy, The Los AngelesTimes, and on HuffingtonPost.com. He serves on the Honorary Board of the Ties Never Broken Campaign, a partnership with The White House. John is a Harvard-trained educator who speaks internationally to schools, parent groups and organizations. 

 

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