Dads and daughters

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Dads and daughters

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I'm not the only one. I know this. A lot of guys are just fascinated, to an absurd extent sometimes, with what's going on in women's bodies and the changes that they go through, and the reality is it's fun to think about unless it's happening under your own roof. And, I'm saying this as the father of three daughters that having a daughter go through puberty is something that's going to make you uncomfortable, and it's going to really make you re-think a couple of things about girls. But, it's important that you understand what's happening. First of all, she's not going to want to talk to you so you're really not going to have to have the talk with her about how her body is changing. If you happen to be a single dad, you're going to want to have some women around--your mother or girlfriend or somebody around who can walk them through this, but, so they're going to get the talk from a woman in their life. They're just not going to talk to you about it, but it's a good idea to pick up a book someplace. You can get a child development book or one of those books that are written for girls about what's going on with their bodies just so you understand what's happening and what's normal or not. A really interesting thing that happens, unfortunately, in a lot of cases is dads, when they see their girls developing, they worry all of a sudden that they're going to touch the girl in an inappropriate way, just that a hug will turn into something that it shouldn't be, and it'll be misinterpreted. And, so they back off, and they just don't want to get too close. So, from the dad, that's a protective thing to keep the girl from experiencing anything inappropriate, which wouldn't be inappropriate anyway because you wouldn't do that. But, from the girl's perspective, that is my dad doesn't love me. And, so it's important as this is going on, as your daughter's body is changing and it's going in different directions all over the place, you need to stay in there and be as physically demonstrative as she wants, as she'll take it. That's fine, but the more you're in there and the more you can remind her either verbally and/or physically that you love her no matter what's going on with her, the better she's going to be. And, where this plays out, you see in a lot of inner-city communities or places where girls do not have fathers in their lives or they don't have a man around to tell them that the way that they're changing and developing is a good thing. They end up being the teen mothers.

Watch Video: Dads and daughters by Armin Brott, ...

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Armin Brott

Dad, Author & Radio Host

A former Marine, Armin Brott has devoted the last 15 years to providing men with the tools, support, and knowledge to help them become the fathers they want to be—and their families need them to be. His seven critically acclaimed books for fathers have sold well over a million copies. Titles include The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year. He has written on fatherhood for hundreds of newspapers and magazines and is a frequent guest on such television programs as the Today Show. He also writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column (Ask Mr. Dad), and hosts a syndicated radio show (Positive Parenting). He lives with his family in Oakland, California.

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