Parenting a perfectionist

Early Childhood Education Specialist Janis Keyser, MA, shares advice for parents on the best way to raise a perfectionist child and help them learn to accept mistakes
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Parenting a perfectionist

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A lot of us feel like our children are perfectionists or we have a child as a perfectionist. It's tricky, as a parent, to find out what's my role, how do I support my child who often gets frustrated. One of the things that happen for children -- all of us, when we are trying to accomplish something new is we set our goals far away. We look at those goals and some of us feel more frustrated than others. One of the things parents can do is to help children deal with the struggle that comes in the process of setting goals and not having met them. We do this, even when children are babies and they try to take their first step and they fall down. We don't -- If we can stay with them and say, "This is hard work. I see you trying and what you've done. I'm going to stay here, even if you are frustrated. You are working on it, and we are going to support you." If we can develop a relationship with children's struggle, they can develop a relationship with their struggle, and understand the process of accomplishment.

Early Childhood Education Specialist Janis Keyser, MA, shares advice for parents on the best way to raise a perfectionist child and help them learn to accept mistakes

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Janis Keyser, MA

Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author

Janis Keyser currently works as a site director for a child development program in Mountain View, California. She was a full-time faculty member in the Early Childhood Education Department at Cabrillo College in Aptos, California for 30 years, teaching children, teachers and parents and coordinating a state demonstration infant toddler program. She has written a resource book for parents and one for teachers; and is a nationally recognized speaker at parenting, family and child development conferences, and has conducted workshops nationally and internationally for parents and teachers for over 35 years. She enjoys swimming, kayaking, photography, family games and cooking with friends of all ages.

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