Communication differences between men and women

Marriage & Family Therapist, Julia Kantor, shares advice for couples on the most common communication differences between men and women
Communication Differences Between Men & Women - Marriage Advice
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Communication differences between men and women

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One of the most common communication differences between men and women is that men are generally wired to want to fix, problem solve and offer solutions, while women just typically want to feel heard and understood. And this can cause a lot of frustration between the sexes. For example, the wife just wants to vent to her partner about what a difficult day she had with the kids all day and he starts offering advice. And they both end up frustrated. So instead I recommend you set your partner up for success by a three step process. First, think about what it is that you’re actually wanting. Are you actually wanting advice? Or really, do you just want to be heard? The second step is to tell your partner, take your partner off the hook, and tell your partner that you’re going to share something, but that you don’t need him to make it better, or fix it, or give any solutions. What will really feel good to you is if he just listens and then tells you at the end he totally hears you and understands what you’re saying. And then the third step is to ask your partner – if he’s in a state of mind to have that kind of conversation right now. And if not, make a plan for later that evening. If you do this, you’ll really set yourself up for a much better communication.

Marriage & Family Therapist, Julia Kantor, shares advice for couples on the most common communication differences between men and women

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Julia Kantor, MFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Julia Kantor, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 15 years of experience. With a private practice in Beverly Hills and Sherman Oaks, Julia provides psychotherapy to individuals and couples dealing with a broad range of challenges. Julia also leads infant and toddler groups at the Pump Station and Sinai Temple and specializes in helping moms and couples to stay connected and improve communication post-children. She regularly speaks on "Childproofing Your Marriage" and offers phone coaching on this subject as well. 

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