Avoiding emotional punishments

Learn about: Avoiding emotional punishments from Chris Fulton, PhD,...
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Avoiding emotional punishments

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Some of the things to avoid is using kind of emotional punishment. You don't want to use shame and guilting like, "You never clean your room," or, "You never take out the trash. You never listen to me." Using that guilt and shame usually, again, you're only going to make them feel bad about themselves and it doesn't really net you a gain. You're not going actually to get them to do what you want them to do. They're actually going to fight you. So try to avoid the shame and the guilt and just harsh statements. The other thing is try to avoid that negative tone, the hostility or sarcasm. They're not going to respond to well to that either. The other thing too is, if you're gonna do a punishment or you're gonna put these natural contingencies in things, try to do it immediately, because if you say, "Okay if you don't do this now, then a week from now I'm gonna take something away." It really is ineffective, so you want to make sure it's immediate. The other thing to avoid is corporal punishment. Spanking kids, hitting kids, grabbing kids; just not a real good method to get them to do what you want them to do. Even if you do, I think the negative part of that outweighs the benefit of it.

Learn about: Avoiding emotional punishments from Chris Fulton, PhD,...

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Chris Fulton, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Christopher Fulton is a licensed clinical psychologist and has been in private practice for over ten years. He received his doctorate in 1994 from the California School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles. Dr. Fulton has clinical training and experience in a variety of settings, and also has administrative, teaching, supervision, consulting, research and psychological testing experience. Dr. Fulton provides consultation and ongoing therapy for children, adolescents and adults. He conducts group, individual, couples and family therapy and actively works with a variety of childhood disorders, including: adjustment disorder, ADHD, anxiety, depression, oppositional defiant and other emotional-behavioral disorders. Among his most frequent areas of concentration is divorce, for which Dr. Fulton offers therapy for all involved.

Utilizing research-supported methods in treatment, Dr. Fulton's approach to therapy involves a combination of cognitive-behavioral, family systems and interpersonal interventions. In his work with children, Dr. Fulton involves parents and assists them in developing appropriate responses to their children, since he believes that ultimately the parent will make the most significant impact on the child. Dr. Fulton helps parents establish appropriate boundaries, communication and methods of discipline in order to increase positive relationships with their children.

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