Four steps to setting limits and sticking to them

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Four steps to setting limits and sticking to them

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Think carefuly before you set a limit. Choose your battle and if you are going to set a limit, be sure that you are going to follow through. Four simple steps to set limits: Your child wants a cookie before dinner time. Number one, empathize with that child. I know sweatheart. I know you really, really want that cookie. Number two, pause. Just be silent for a moment. Please do not say the word but. Number three, state your limit. So you are saying I know you really want that cookie sweatheart. In our family, we eat cookies after we put healthy food in our bodies. And number four, give your child a choice. So after you say we put healthy food in our bodies, you say something like would you like to grab some carrots or a stick of cheese. Now if they go back to the no, I want a cookie, I want a cookie, you go back to step one. Empathize. If you give your child empathy, they will come off the ladder and realize that you mean business. Keep repeating yourself. Know that it is the child´s job to test the limits. It is your job to set them.

View Kim DeMarchi, MEd, CPE's video on Four steps to setting limits and sticking to them...

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Kim DeMarchi, MEd, CPE

Parent Educator

Kim has been an educator for more than 20 years.  She has worked as an elementary school teacher in the independent school sector as well as an Assistant Director of Admissions. She had the pleasure of working with and teaching teachers, assistants, students, and parents. Kim is most proud of being a wife and mother of “tween” boy/girl twins. Being an effective parent is Kim’s passion in life. She says, “every day I try to be mindful of each decision I make in regards to parenting with the end in mind”. Besides Kim’s experiential background, she holds her bachelor’s degree, her Multiple Subject Teaching Credential, a master’s degree in Education, and is a Certified Parent Educator in multiple programs. Kim is the Co-Founder of Empowered Parenting, which offers courses, workshops, and one-on-one coaching to parents, teachers, grandparents, healthcare workers, counselors, corporate America, and anyone who relates to children. Kim’s knowledge and experience coupled with her enthusiasm, humor, empathy and compassion, has helped thousands of people worldwide with their daily interactions with children. Kim’s goal is to help reduce conflict, foster mutual respect, and create deeper communication and connections between loved ones.

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