Power struggles vs. solving a problem with your kids

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Power struggles vs. solving a problem with your kids

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When you're solving a problem unilaterally, you are at very high risk for having it turn into a power struggle. And a power struggle is a win-lose proposition. In a power struggle you're trying to figure out who's going to win and who's going to lose. And who's going to win? Whoever has the power. When you're solving a problem collaboratively you're engaged in a win-win proposition. Who's going to win? Both of you. What does winning mean? It means both parties got their concerns addressed. I win if we win. You win if we win. But we both lose if one of us loses. I just wish the guys and gals in Washington, DC could figure that out.

View Ross W. Greene, PhD's video on Power struggles vs. solving a problem with your kids...

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Ross W. Greene, PhD

Psychologist, Author & Researcher

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the author of the well-known books The Explosive Child and Lost at School, and the originator of a model of care (now known as Collaborative & Proactive Solutions) emphasizing collaboration between kids and adults in resolving the problems contributing to children’s behavioral challenges.  He is also associate clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, on the professional staff at the Cambridge Hospital, adjunct associate professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech, and senior lecturer in the graduate program in school psychology in the Department of Education at Tufts University.  Dr. Greene founded the non-profit Lives in the Balance to provide free, web-based resources on his model and to advocate on behalf of behaviorally challenging kids and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers.  He lectures widely throughout the world and lives in Portland, Maine, with his wife and two kids.

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