How to use consequences and privileges effectively with kids

Chris Fulton, PhD Clinical Psychologist, shares advice for parents on how to best use consequences and privileges with their kids effectively to ensure good behavior
Parenting Tips | Using Consequences And Privileges Effectively
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How to use consequences and privileges effectively with kids

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To get your kids to do things they don't want to do, you have to start thinking of a plan because sometimes, they are not going to do what you ask them. If it's cleaning their room, go into this with a plan. I like natural contingencies throughout the day. What you do is kind of set up, say, hey, as soon as you are done cleaning your room, these are some things to look forward to. Because outside of food, water, shelter, love and clothing, everything is a privilege. Those are the only God given rights that I think children have. So what you do is set up during the day, do this work, then have your fun. It doesn't have to be a trip to Disney Land after they clean up their room or take out the trash, they get to enjoy their life, the TV show or the play date. Set up those natural contingencies. One other thing I think helps, follow a three rule program. Request, warning, and a follow through. You as them one time and say if you don't do this, this is what will happen. Make sure you follow through on that third one. I think 25 percent of your power is lost every time you ask them to do something. So if you ask four times, you've got zero power over them.

Chris Fulton, PhD Clinical Psychologist, shares advice for parents on how to best use consequences and privileges with their kids effectively to ensure good behavior

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Chris Fulton, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Christopher Fulton is a licensed clinical psychologist and has been in private practice for over ten years. He received his doctorate in 1994 from the California School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles. Dr. Fulton has clinical training and experience in a variety of settings, and also has administrative, teaching, supervision, consulting, research and psychological testing experience. Dr. Fulton provides consultation and ongoing therapy for children, adolescents and adults. He conducts group, individual, couples and family therapy and actively works with a variety of childhood disorders, including: adjustment disorder, ADHD, anxiety, depression, oppositional defiant and other emotional-behavioral disorders. Among his most frequent areas of concentration is divorce, for which Dr. Fulton offers therapy for all involved.

Utilizing research-supported methods in treatment, Dr. Fulton's approach to therapy involves a combination of cognitive-behavioral, family systems and interpersonal interventions. In his work with children, Dr. Fulton involves parents and assists them in developing appropriate responses to their children, since he believes that ultimately the parent will make the most significant impact on the child. Dr. Fulton helps parents establish appropriate boundaries, communication and methods of discipline in order to increase positive relationships with their children.

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