How parents' and kids' needs can both be met

Learn about: How parents' and kids' needs can both be met from Ross W. Greene, PhD,...
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How parents' and kids' needs can both be met

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You know, one of the explicit assumptions of my model is that both parties have legitimate concerns. The kid has legitimate concerns. The adult has legitimate concerns. And those concerns are of equal legitimacy. Now that scares a lot of adults, because then they want to know from me, are you saying he's my equal? No. I'm saying that the concerns of both parties are of exactly equal legitimacy and have to be weighed equally, and both have to be addressed for this problem to be solved durably. What adults often want to do is trump the kid's concerns, blow the kid's concerns off the table. And the rationale for doing that is, I'm the adult. He's the kid. Yes, you are the adult. He is the kid. But if you want to solve this problem collaboratively and durably, you cannot trump your kids concerns. Both are of exactly equal legitimacy.

Learn about: How parents' and kids' needs can both be met from Ross W. Greene, PhD,...

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Ross W. Greene, PhD

Psychologist, Author & Researcher

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the author of the well-known books The Explosive Child and Lost at School, and the originator of a model of care (now known as Collaborative & Proactive Solutions) emphasizing collaboration between kids and adults in resolving the problems contributing to children’s behavioral challenges.  He is also associate clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, on the professional staff at the Cambridge Hospital, adjunct associate professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech, and senior lecturer in the graduate program in school psychology in the Department of Education at Tufts University.  Dr. Greene founded the non-profit Lives in the Balance to provide free, web-based resources on his model and to advocate on behalf of behaviorally challenging kids and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers.  He lectures widely throughout the world and lives in Portland, Maine, with his wife and two kids.

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