Talking to 9 to 12-year-olds about sex

Amy Lang, MA Sex Education Expert, shares advice on the best methods for talking to your child about sex in a way that is age appropriate and will make the topic open to talk about in the future
How to Talk to Your 9 to 12-Year-Old Child About Sex
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Talking to 9 to 12-year-olds about sex

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Talking to your 9-12 year old about sex can be pretty challenging. Most kids in this age group do not really want to talk about sex. They have developed this wonderful, natural aversion to sex, but they do need to know about sex and how everything works. By the time they enter Middle School, they should have a basic understanding of how everything works related to sex and sexuality. So, get a book that's age-appropriate to them, and say something like, "Hey, you're old enough to start having this conversations. Tell me what you know about sex. Have you heard that word before?" See what they say. You might be surprised. Also, you want to encourage them by saying, "You know, you can talk to me about any of this at any time." Then, you need to demonstrate that you are open, by talking to them about all kinds of things relating to dating and sex.

Amy Lang, MA Sex Education Expert, shares advice on the best methods for talking to your child about sex in a way that is age appropriate and will make the topic open to talk about in the future

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Amy Lang, MA

Sex Education Expert

Despite her 16 years of experience as a sexual health educator, Amy Lang found herself completely tongue-tied when her four year old son had "something very important" to tell her about his penis. Shocked by her discomfort, she realized if she was struggling, other parents must be too. Amy also holds an MA in Applied Behavioral Science and her focus was in adult education and group facilitation. She decided to combine her love of sex talking and her love of working with adults and started Birds + Bees + Kids in 2006.

Amy is a three time Mom’s Choice Award winner for her book, Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A Guide To Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love and Relationships and DVD, Birds + Bees + Kids - The Basics. She is also the author of the book, Say What?! The Birds + Bees for Progressive Parents - What to Say and How to Say It!

She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Seattle Magazine, Parent Map magazine and has contributed to a gazillion other publications. Sex advice guru Dan Savage says “Amy is a parent’s best friend-with-benefits when it comes to talking to kids about sex.” 

Though Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy helps parents of all beliefs have easy, open and effective conversations about sexuality, love and relationships with their kids. She offers talks, workshops, one-on-one consultations and live webcasts. Amy is also the co-founder of MamaCON - Inspiration and Tools for Modern Moms, a conference supporting the hard work of moms everywhere.

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