How dads deal with miscarriage

Armin Brott, Dad, Author, and Radio Host, explains how miscarriages also have a psychological and emotional toll on fathers and what people can do to help them as well as the mother
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How dads deal with miscarriage

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One of the sad things about pregnancies is that not all of them end up producing a baby. Sometimes they end prematurely. Sometimes they end in a miscarriage. A one of the phenomena that happens during a miscarriage or after the miscarriage is that people will becoming up to the formerly pregnant mom and will be wondering how she is, how she is doing physically, how she is doing mentally. And the only time anybody will even look at the dad is to say how is she doing. What is going on though is a really interesting thing. Yes, she had absolutely 100% of the physical issues having to do with the miscarriage and that is bad. But dads and moms go through psychologically the same kind of journey through pregnancy. So if you are a dad and your partner had a miscarriage, those hopes and dreams you had, they are gone just they like are for her. And one thing that she has that you don´t have as the dad is that she has a support network probably. She is going to be able to talk to her girlfriends. She is going to be able to talk to other people. Guys tend to kind of suck it up. We don´t want to talk to anybody and we also want to make sure that we are there for her. So we are not going to be saying I am feeling really bad about this, too. If you can, it is a great idea, very, very important, to have a conversation about it and as the dad to say look, this is really bothering me, too. But if you get even the slightest sense that she is not quite ready to be there to support you, that is fine. That is okay. Let her have that one. Go out with some friends. Find the clergyperson that you are close to. Have conversations. Another thing, actually it is sort of not a guy thing, we don´t like to go to groups and expose ourselves emotionally, but there has been research that shows when guys for grieving purposes go to groups and they can interact with people who are going through a similar thing at the same time, it actually helps them quite a bit.
PREGNANCY, Miscarriage and Loss

Armin Brott, Dad, Author, and Radio Host, explains how miscarriages also have a psychological and emotional toll on fathers and what people can do to help them as well as the mother

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Armin Brott

Dad, Author & Radio Host

A former Marine, Armin Brott has devoted the last 15 years to providing men with the tools, support, and knowledge to help them become the fathers they want to be—and their families need them to be. His seven critically acclaimed books for fathers have sold well over a million copies. Titles include The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year. He has written on fatherhood for hundreds of newspapers and magazines and is a frequent guest on such television programs as the Today Show. He also writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column (Ask Mr. Dad), and hosts a syndicated radio show (Positive Parenting). He lives with his family in Oakland, California.

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