Milestones and tips for 14-year-old girls

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Milestones and tips for 14-year-old girls

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At 14, your daughter is figuring out who she is, what she cares about, what she’s good at, and who her people are. At 14, she’s scrutinizing herself to see how she messes up and she’s also scrutinizing you, her mother to see what aspects of who you are she wants to emulate and how she wants to be different from you. At 14, friends continue to be an all important part of her life. You can connect with your 14-year-old by taking an interest in what she’s interested in, show up for her performances in sports events, ask her for reading recommendations, check out the website she likes, listen to her music and see if you can find a television show that you both want to watch together. Ask her opinion on the issues of the day like gay marriage or global warming. Or, if she doesn’t really like conversation, find an activity that you two can do together that you both would enjoy like going to a concert, or going skiing and do it with another mother and daughter if that makes her more comfortable.
TEEN, Health and Development

View SuEllen Hamkins, MD's video on Milestones and tips for 14-year-old girls...

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SuEllen Hamkins, MD

Psychiatrist & Author

SuEllen Hamkins, MD, is a psychiatrist, author and founding member of the Mother-Daughter Project, a community of women and girls that developed powerful, practical ways to help mothers and daughters stay connected and thrive through adolescence. Co-author of The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds and Thrive Through Adolescence, Dr. Hamkins has given numerous presentations for parents and psychotherapists around the world, focusing on mothers, daughters, their relationships and the kinds of communities that nurture them.  As the psychiatrist for the Smith College Counseling Service from 1992-2004, SuEllen offered consultation to over a thousand women ages 16 to 23 to help them resist and overcome problems such as anorexia, bulimia, depression, anxiety, trauma, assault, and self-injury.  In addition to her work on behalf of mothers and daughters, as the Assistant Director for Psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, she has been instrumental in developing strengths-based, narrative approaches to psychotherapy and psychiatric practice, helping people cultivate their values and strengths in the face of serious difficulties.  SuEllen is the mother of two daughters, now 17 and 22, and raising them has been the most thrilling and rewarding work of her life. She lives with her husband and younger daughter in western Massachusetts, where they love to swim outdoors, cross country ski, shoe snow, dance, cook and lounge around in the living room, reading. 

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