Coming out to parents

Susan Goldberg, Author and Blogger, gives advice on what to do if your child comes out to you.
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Coming out to parents

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As a parent, I think if my kid came to me, or if somebody child's child is coming out to you for the first time as gay or lesbian or transgender, somewhere on that spectrum, I think what happens a lot in society is even parents who are well meaning and want to support their kids can get caught up in this wave of oh no, this is going to be really hard. This is going to be really challenging. And I think if you can, to try to sort of let that wave ride over you. Take a deep breath. And then stop and remember that this is your kid, the first thing they want to hear is something positive. So instead of something like, I'll still love you, even though you're gay. Or, something that kind of implies that this choice is a negative choice, to really say something about how positive it is. And to say something like, wow! That's a really great decision. I'm so proud of you for being able to make that and being able to talk to me about it. What a great thing for you and what a great thing for our family. And to take that really positive approach. Because it is a great thing for your child to have figured out who he or she is. And what he or she wants and loves. And if they're coming to you to tell you about that, that's a huge risk they're taking. And I think it's up to you as a parent to acknowledge that risk and be proud and happy for your child for the risks and decisions they make.

Susan Goldberg, Author and Blogger, gives advice on what to do if your child comes out to you.

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Susan Goldberg, MA

Author & Blogger

Susan Goldberg is a writer, editor, essayist and blogger, and coeditor of the award-winning anthology And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families. Her writing has been featured on the CBC and the Globe and Mail, in Ms., Lilith, and Stealing Time magazines, and several anthologies, including the forthcoming Chasing Rainbows: Exploring Gender-Fluid Parenting Practices. Susan is a contributing blogger at Today’sParent.com and VillageQ.com. In 2012, she was chosen as one of BlogHer’s Voices of the Year. She’s currently (always) working on a novel, called Step on a Crack, and on Overflow, a one-woman performance piece about lingerie and breast cancer. Susan lives in Thunder Bay, Ontario, with her partner and their two sons.

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