Communicating with your child's caregiver

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Communicating with your child's caregiver

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In order to rely on a substitute parent which is a nanny, or a housekeeper or somebody else who is going to be taking care of your children, I think there is a lot of prep work that a parent has to do. I think initially, how do you hire this individual? What are the questions that you’re going to ask this person before they come in and stand in as a substitute parent? And what I have observed is that most of the questioning when we hire somebody has to do with – Are you honest? Are you drinking or smoking? Can you drive a car? And not about – how do you stimulate a child? How would you handle a child when the child is having a dispute? How do you nurture a child? I think it’s important to recognize that very often the individuals that are hired to do this may come from a different culture and may have a very different background and standards. And if you don’t communicate what is important to that individual, then they will parent in a way that may be very different from the way you would want that child parenting. So I think it’s very important that the individual work with that substitute parent to communicate what the parent feels is important and how the parent wants a variety of situations handled. And that relates even in terms of how this individual is to indulge a child. Very often an individual is hired to take care of a young child. Young children very quickly learn that if that individual has been hired to service him or her that they become sort of like the lord of the reins, demanding and commanding an individual to totally cave into his or hers needs. And that does not create a responsible, independent child.

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Lee Hausner, PhD

Clinical Psychologist & Author

Dr. Lee Hausner is an internationally recognized clinical psychologist, business consultant and family wealth advisor. She served as the senior psychologist for the Beverly Hills Unified School District for 19 years. She is currently the Senior Managing Director for First Foundation Advisors. An acknowledged expert on psychological issues involving wealth and wealth transfer, she was a presenter at the World Economic Forum in Davos-Klosters, Switzerland, and is a frequent participant at the high wealth/private client conferences for major financial institutions. She is a frequent guest on national radio and television and a quoted expert in national publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Times, Forbes, Fortune, Privilege, Town and Country and Worth Magazine.

Dr. Hausner is the co-author with Doug Freeman of A Founder's Guide to the Family Foundation, published by the Council on Foundations and is the author of the seminal work regarding wealth and the family; Children of Paradise: Successful Parenting for Prosperous Families. In addition, Dr. Hausner incorporated her unique six-step transition model for succession in family business in the critically acclaimed family business resource book Hats Off to You 2: Balancing Roles and Creating Success in Family Business, of which she was a co-author.

Dr. Hausner is a graduate of Northwestern University (BA, Psychology), San Francisco State University (MA, Psychology), and Kensington University (PhD, Psychology).

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